How does it feel to live with anxiety?

As I'm typing now my hands are trembling, my heart is pounding and hundreds of thoughts running in my mind, all the thoughts lead to one thing "Anxiety". I'll try my best to express my feelings in words with the limited vocabulary I possess. 

According to me there are 2 types of fears, the fear that has a cause and the fear that doesn't. We all have fears that have a cause like fear of meeting new people, fear of heights, fear of dark, etc. These fears can be dealt with; when we know what we are afraid of at least we have a fighting chance to overcome them. But the fears that don't have a cause are the toughest. Because, when you don't even know what's worrying you how can you deal with it? Ever since this lockdown started I'm fighting with such fears. Some nights I go to sleep just hoping to wake up to another morning. I think I have had anxiety for several years now however, I've started to notice it in this lockdown. That could be because, during our normal days we had so many things to do and several temporary and mundane problems that would keep us busy and we hardly had time for introspection. 

So much was happening around us therefore we never had time to look within. The moment the outside world is shut off, all the thoughts that we have been suppressing inside explode at once and you have no choice but to face them. We try so hard to keep ourselves busy so that we can avoid our thoughts, isn't it? I have been suppressing my thoughts for a long time now by keeping myself busy doing many trivial things in life. As the days are passing all the thoughts that I hid deep in my mind are rising and this time I have decided to face them. You might ask why don't I continue to keep myself busy so that I can avoid anxiety? That's a good question. But, I believe that avoiding problems doesn't solve them. Thoughts suppressed will surface stronger some day and will hit you harder. 

Now the question is how am I supposed to face those thoughts? As I have been avoiding thoughts for a very long time they are all stacked up and I couldn't say which one is worrying me now and there's no way I could address each thought at a time, because thoughts are endless. I reach out to my family, try to express my feelings and they call me a psycho. I try to explain my situation to my friends and they think I'm crazy. I feel helpless. I feel lonely. I feel exhausted. I feel like I'm battling an eternal war inside my head. The war that I have to fight alone and will never give up. Because, I'm a warrior and not just a worrier.

I have one request for everyone who is reading this. If someone is trying to express their feelings to you, just listen to them. Don't abandon them. You have no idea what they are going through. All we need is someone who can just listen to us without judging and help us win the war.