Is there a deeper meaning behind farts?

Since I have a lot of time to spare, I have been thinking extensively about everything. Life, death, love, space, universe, God, health, work, career, passion, future, family, marriage, meditation, consciousness, country, politics etc. But the topic that intrigued me the most was farts. Yes, you read it right - farts.

The more I think about it, the more I am fascinated I become. We still feel very uncomfortable talking about farting, but science says that every adult farts consciously or unconsciously 5-15 times a day. If every person farts every day of their life, why is there still an awkwardness in talking about it? Maybe because, farts smell.

Have you noticed that the person who farts doesn't smell it and if they are able to smell it, it smells really good to them? This thought just blew my mind. How could the same fart smell different to the farter and the passive-farter?

If you don't believe it, soon after you eat, jump in your bed and cover yourself with a blanket. Inhale twice as much as you exhale until you feel your stomach feels tight. Then gently lift your backside up and release the wind. Wait for a second and you will sense the best smell of your life; Like the smell of mud after the rain.

Although we don't give much importance to farts, they can actually be used in many different ways. Let me tell you how I have used farts for achieving different things in life.

Motivation: If you are going through a tough situation and feel demotivated, remember these words:

                                  Life always gives a fart before shit.

Revenge: Did you know you can use farts to take revenge? Let me share how I used farts to take revenge.

Once one of my superiors at work was rude to me and it hurt me badly. I couldn't do anything fearing I might lose my job. I thought a lot about how I could seek my vengeance and I finally plot a plan. I followed him to an elevator and luckily no one was around. I looked straight in his eyes and took out all the courage in me and released the best fart of my life. It was loud like a thunder.

               Silent farts are for cowards, real men fart out loud and long. 

Then, I made sure the elevator went to the higher floor without a stop. You should see his face. He was about to pass out. That was  the perfect revenge for me. I felt relieved and proud at the same time. I not only took my revenge, but found out the best way to take revenge that no law can find you guilty for.

Messing with bullies:  I had a friend who used to bully me all the time. I wanted to make him mad, just once. One day, I went to his house for a house party and was thinking incessantly about how to make him pay for all the bullying. I got a great idea. The next morning I told him he has been farting all night while sleeping, and his farts were very smelly and loud enough for the person in the next room to hear.

Voila! That worked. He isolated himself in his room for a whole week and had to videotape himself to see if he was actually farting.

Farts aren't bad, when they can help you you make others mad.

Using farts for communication: Well, I don't know why nobody has thought about this until now.

    But, I'm sure, there was a time in history when people used farting as a language

You can use farts as a secret communication system when people are in a close proximity. This could be employed anywhere in the secret services, to cheat in an exam and any other creative way you want.

Please do let me know what you think in the comment section. You can leave a comment in as much time as you take to fart.

Thank you for reading. Keep farting :)